by Tyler Riggs

Standard computer keyboards aren’t sexy. Sure Hollywood heavy hitters like Stan Lee have those fancy yellow-keyed keyboards with big letters, and the ZAGGkeys PROplus is a fantastic upgrade for your iPad’s functionality, but when it comes to the standard computer keyboard, unless Apple reinvents the wheel with some revolutionary new concept, the QWERTY is no more quirky than a Full House rerun.

A set of custom keys from TechKeys.us could be just the trick for users looking to spice up their keyboard lives, however, by replacing generic letters, numbers, and arrows with exciting, conversation-starting keys such as dice faces, and arrows mimicking those from a Dance Dance Revolution gamepad.



The full listing of keys available can be found at the TechKeys website, but the following are some of my favorite keyboard alternatives:

The dice ($15). Intended to replace the number keys across the top of your keyboard, having dice face numbers would be a signal to any friend, family member, or coworker that you’re full of excitement. You’re the one who kibitzes around the craps table during work conferences in Las Vegas, relishing the opportunity to educate others about the differences between a pass bet and a come bet. When people ask about your keyboard during the 51 weeks of the year you’re not at the craps table, you get that glimmer in your eye that, for just a moment, you’re back in Vegas rolling on a hot table, making it rain for all those around you.


DDR arrow keys ($10). Sure, your glory days of dominating Dance Dance Revolution are more than a decade behind you. You used to roll up to a DDR machine in the arcade in 2000, impressing the ladies as you rolled up your Guess jeans and hopped around the DDR playing surface like you had ants in your pants. Now, you’re a corporate desk jockey who occasionally closes your eyes, and imagines that your fingers are your feet, and you’re back in that arcade dancing the night away to the latest beats from Eiffel 65. Your fingers dance from cell to cell in the Excel file that you should be working on, but just can’t get full effort in on because you’re so focused on the music. At least now, your fingers can have appropriately themed arrow keys to carry out that song and dance.



“Like A Sir” Key ($6). Perhaps my favorite key on the TechKey’s site, the memetastic “Like a Sir” key, which I’m eyeing as a great replacement for the escape key on my keyboard. Then, every time I need to press escape (and let’s be honest, when do we really use the escape key anymore?) I can do it in the most gentlemanly way possible, saying “Please sir, excuse me while I discontinue these existing process and proceed to move on to another computing activity. Cheerio.”

That’s a level of class my keyboard deserves.